An Alzheimers Victims Unending Horror Story Pt 1

In The Process of Revision

An Alzheimer’s Victim’s Horror Story

Alzheimer’s Victims must be protected. Especially from family members who refuse an Alzheimer’s education. Else an Unending Horror Story might arise…

 

Brainless Intrusions Hurt The Alzheimer’s Victim

Preliminaries to ‘A Real Life Story’

Alzheimer’s disease is not well understood. Except for caring Caregivers, people simply don’t take the time to educate themselves to its particulars. Yet in some cases, these same inexperienced and unqualified people seem to come up with the idea they are perhaps divinely inspired. Thus without the consent and sometimes without the Caregiver even being initially aware, they proceed behind his or her back to arbitrarily interfere with the proven positive health care system in place which has long been 24/7 satisfactorily overseen by the Primary Caregiver. By so doing, of course, they negatively infect not only that system, but far worse… the Alzheimer’s victim for which the successful system of care was designed.

The idea behind introducing this ‘Horror Story’ is to offer a true life story which represents only one of multiples of hindrances brought forth by ignorant, yet well intended people. Principally siblings, parents, children and friends of the Alzheimer’s victim. Their offerings, particularly offerings given behind the Caregivers back, impede his or her ability to provide ever enhancing care for the Alzheimer’s patient.

Caregiver, it is vital you strive to unmistakeably recognize and deeply internalize the acute reality that ultimately, ‘The Buck Stops Here‘. If you are the primary caregiver you are the day to day, even minute by minute person who is one hundred percent responsible for providing the best care you are able to provide. Unless others are proactive and assist you on a day to day or preferably minute by minute basis, your friends, loved ones and even family members are not in the slightest anywhere near as responsible as are you. Therefore, come hell or high water… YOU …must do what you believe is best. You are the rule maker! That’s just the way it is!

SIDE NOTE: I hope you enjoy a wonderful, close knit, loving family. I sincerely hope your siblings and immediate family members are demonstrably supportive of your endeavor to care for a loved one. As any caregiver surely knows… it makes life immensely more endurable, and sometimes even pleasurable when proactive support is the rule… not the exception. Hopefully you won’t incur the type of problem this Horror Story identifies, but just in case your family members are not as loving or… regularly …supportive as they could be, then when you make decisions which from their perspective are not necessarily completely favorable, you must expect to be scolded or unfortunately… even railed against. Human life seems to dictate that when people refuse to be a part of the solution they nevertheless feel compelled to remain or become part of the problem. (Honorably so, of course) Convoluted thinking, isn’t it?

Not to worry, though. With respect to their lack of participation, their squealing seems to slow a bit when you in even the most veiled way remind them that you’ve given up virtually everything in life in order to provide personal care for your parent and by contrast they’ve given up very, very little… if anything. And they find no humor in the consideration that you will be most happy to move to Thailand if they would alter their ‘arms length’ course of assistance and resolve to in… ANY …manner, even minimally assume the responsibilities you face each and every hour of each day.

Of course, friend, as inviting as such a move sometimes becomes, you know you simply cannot give up control of the care of your loved one because by their demonstrated words, attitudes and actions they’ve already established the reality that if they take over responsibilities, your parent will not receive as much care as you provide. Sorry! You’ll just have to put off your move to the Orient for awhile. (And besides all that, the Rapture is about due, anyway. (See… Most Obvious Signs)

But let’s take a moment and look at the other side of the coin: Yes, if they are interested in doing so, family members should at their request and their due diligence be included in developing the overall plan for the proper care of the afflicted person. And how do they make known their interest? By helping you endeavor not only to bring about the development of a plan for ongoing proper care, but by assisting you in the progressive functionality and ongoing fruition of that plan. That plan should include provisions for both the proper care of the afflicted love one as well as properly timed periods of relief for you, the caregiver. You and they should be well aware that given the limits of human nature, if you constantly serve without some type of proper intervention you’ll simply not be physically, mentally or emotionally able to remain as effective a caregiver as you otherwise would. So then, who ends up suffering the more? The afflicted person, of course.

CONSIDERATION: In my opinion, assuming they’ve opted to at least help you with the development of a plan, if they refuse to maintain a proactive interest in upholding its various articles, it should remain entirely your decision whether or not to provide them an understanding of the day to day, week to week or even month to month observance of that plan… as well as the manner in which the fruit of the plan continues to affect the Alzheimer’s victim. Another common sense aspect of that same stance: The way I look at it is that if family members want information, yet aren’t inclined to ask anyone except the person with Alzheimer’s how they are doing, they really aren’t interested. Their words and actions prove to be more for show than anything which truly reflects their interest in the executed day to day real care of the person with Alzheimer’s.

From my perspective, the long and short of it is that if people within your circle want to help, great… better than great – absolutely wonderful! If they don’t… then even in the face of their recurrent railings against you, regardless of how soft or at the other end of the spectrum, how malicious their words or attitudes might be… you must remember and strictly adhere to the concept that, ‘The Buck Stops Here.’ If they wish to take on responsibilities which would prompt the ‘Buck’ to stop at their door… terrific! All they need do is participate in the provision of care to their loved one to a greater degree than that to which they’ve already proven they are inclined. Please note though, that whatever difficulties might arise between family members, siblings, et al, you maintain your personal good principles when you prudently make them aware of emergency situations and/or a rapid decline. More than that of course is at your discretion. To me, a good rule of thumb might be… ‘have their words and actions, their help to you, proven they really give a care’?

VERY IMPORTANT REMINDER:

If your family has already proven their inattentiveness toward helping to optimize proper care for your loved one, they’ve already taught you to what degree they really care. Therefore, if you fail to properly establish your position of complete and total responsibility, i.e. ‘The Buck Stops Here‘, your lax or trusting attitude could at some point in the future invite upon you a considerable amount of stress from the very people who should be most supportive. Yes friend, your trusting them to… simply do the right thing …by both the Alzheimer’s victim as well as yourself could come back to haunt you. And as you probably already know, you don’t need any more stress… you’ve already got enough 24/7 stress to contend with.

 

Now to put it all together…

‘An Alzheimers Victims Unending Horror Story Pt 2‘