Should YOU become an Alzheimer’s Patient Caregiver

 

 

 

Should …YOU…
Provide Alzheimer’s Support?

 

 

Alzheimer’s Disease caregiving
requires YOU to become adept to differing Alzheimer’s Patient needs.
Herein begins considerations
a caregiver should resolve.

 

This section concerning Alzheimer’s caregivers support will be quite sobering. It is written that way in the hope that if not already, you’ll begin or review your position as caregiver in order to better ascertain if by taking upon yourself the responsibilities of that position… you …are able to provide the best care possible for the benefit of your loved one.

Please know that I very well understand you may not have had a choice in the matter. You likely became the principle caregiver whether you sought the ‘position’ or not. And like most of us, it’s reasonably likely you’ll retain your position until the end.

 

Now though,
take a moment and recognize
the immediate question is NOT:
‘Are you a caregiver‘?
The real question is,
‘Can you become
a better caregiver than you might now be‘?

 

Friend, it’s also very important at this time to remember ‘the age old way of mankind’. By that I mean we have deep within us the innate capability, i.e. the God inspired ability to become the people we need to become. Often, we just need some type of significant prompt to ‘grow into ourselves’. Friend, remember that two of life’s teachings are quite true… 1) The Child we once were is now the Father (or Mother) of whom we’ve become and, 2) The old saying, ‘Adversity Inspires Greatness’. Both are surely true and sometimes quickly brought out of us in cases such as these.

So then, though the going will in many, if not most cases be tougher than that which you’ve previously dealt with, when push comes to shove – most of us have what it takes to accomplish the task set before us. If not to provide minute by minute care for our Alzheimer’s afflicted loved one, then to rise to the occasion stepping forth to do what must be done in order to ensure proper care becomes the mainstay; not anything less.

 

Inasmuch as the onset of Alzheimer’s disease takes place over a period of time, it’s likely that for an unknown period of time you didn’t fully realize what had been blossoming. Fear of knowing might even have played a part in things creeping up on you as they did. Whatever the basis, without fully realizing it most of us had already become ‘entry level’ caregivers when the diagnosis was finally made. Likely, closely thereafter came another perhaps equally agonizing revelation: With astonishing clarity you began to far better understand you were quickly facing exponentially increased responsibilities without knowing what help, if any, was available. Perhaps even inclusive of familial attitudes and their distancing postures; everywhere you looked and everything you thought about was unsettling, if not almost completely overwhelming.

As mentally and emotionally devastating as those intrusions were… and likely to a degree still are, those initial considerations have now begun to wane… at least somewhat. So… what’s next?

Beyond initially assuming and to the best of your ability fulfilling the obvious responsibilities of providing proper, continuing care, the first questions to ask yourself are, ‘Is this what I want to do’? ‘Must I’? ‘Am I willing to learn’? ‘Am I willing to give up my very life for the benefit of my loved one’? Is there someone who will love me and my loved one enough to help me? Beyond those extremely difficult, yet really quite basic questions, come perhaps even more important questions which arise out of your deeper sense of being. Those which involve what you personally can live with believing you’ve chosen the ‘right’ thing to do. The ‘best’ thing to do. ‘What will… they …think of me if I don’t'? ‘What will I think of myself if I refuse… or pawn off more than my ‘fair share’ of responsibilities’?

Friend, far above our internal dilemmas, isn’t it best to focus on what is… the best …thing to do for our loved one? Depending upon many variables including, of course, who you are deep within… providing proper care for your Alzheimer’s afflicted loved one may or may not best be fulfilled by yourself. And that is not something to beat yourself up about. With respect to our responses toward life’s dictates over the years, each of us has developed a ‘program’ of sorts which includes our established compatibilities as well as our comfort levels. The worst possible environment for the Alzheimer’s Victim is to be cared for by one who for whatever reason simply cannot physically, mentally or emotionally accept the sometimes very difficult and always demanding responsibilities required. If the wrong person or people accept the very taxing responsibilities that wholly encompass properly caring for one afflicted with Alzheimer’s… when they shouldn’t, both the one who is already a Victim as well as the caregiver(s) will then enter what might perhaps be a prolonged number of years living in a virtual hell on earth.

On the other hand. …I’ll say it again, ‘on the other hand’… also arriving with the arrival of Alzheimer’s Disease is the often deeply hidden and perhaps best opportunity ever for a person to rise out of themselves and become one who can henceforth look in the mirror and see a markedly enhanced person looking back. Friend, the old saying about adversity bringing forth greatness surely applies. Even if in the estimation of others you even now are a ‘top of the line’ person, the advent of a loved one contracting Alzheimer’s Disease provides you the opportunity to distinctly enhance your good character even more.

This new adventure in life offers you the opportunity to enhance or, if need be, even wholly change everything about yourself toward becoming one whose integrity and character stands high among mankind. Given the learning curve, it’s not at all out of the question to in time begin to see the person looking back at you in the mirror being one of perhaps far more noble character than that which is now possessed. After all, when done properly, this new endeavor requires the investment of a great deal more as well as many varied levels expressing ‘love’ than most of us have thus far tasted in life. And mind you, love not only conquers all, it creates within us… all.

Friend, even given the confines of this hell of Alzheimer’s, your determination to work through this horror by learning and properly executing ‘the best’ care for the benefit of your loved one will almost certainly create for you a future which from an internal, know thyself perspective, can truly become the very best part of your life.

These finer of life’s offerings, of course, are not arbitrarily bestowed upon all caregivers. But when coupling intelligence with humility for the purpose of providing proper care for one who may well not even minimally grasp the concept of the help you are providing, friend, you will have opened wide the door toward your receipt of those things which are rightly considered to be the well sought after internal and eternal rewards of life, itself. And as you routinely endeavor to bestow love upon your loved one… then imagine the benefits of day to day, minute by minute experience of love you will have at the same time bestowed upon yourself! Bestowing love, friend, is your primary goal!

Make no mistake though, it is not the goody goody type of easily identifiable, refreshing, appreciated by another love you are bestowing. The type of love you are bestowing is a typically prolonged, 24/7 endeavor. ‘Goody goody’ is not often found in such a thing. Care giving responsibilities are enormous and can-not be understated. Obviously then, becoming and/or remaining an Alzheimer caregiver is absolutely not for everyone.

Your first mandate is to begin an in depth investigation of yourself. And don’t stress yourself out even more because of that self examination! The results of your internal research will usually only arrive in pieces, over time. After all, at this point you must not only continue to provide proper care, but also work through the shock, the horror, the perceived personal obligations, immediate and distant family relationships, the just plain hard work as well as quite probably a good deal of loneliness.

Moreover, you’ll probably repeatedly face the normal feelings of guilt regarding the recurrent question of what you ‘should’ do. That, plus anything else along those lines which come to mind. The end game is to come to terms with your position now as well as your expected position as this prolonged continuation of Alzheimer’s Disease… which means a prolonged continuation of you providing care giving requirements… comes forth. To the degree you, over time, are able to grasp what you guess are the pros and cons and then forecast such toward a period which might encompass any number of years ahead… only then will you become better able to determine if care giving is something you are able to provide. One more thing friend, never ever beat yourself up when and if you eventually recognize things have changed to the degree your decision to become a caregiver must necessarily change to the opposite, as well.

The first and most obvious problem though, is that right off the bat many of us simply don’t have a choice. We never have and yes, we possibly/probably never will. We’re in the game whether we want to be or not. That friend, is a large part of the reasoning behind why this site was developed! It is my sincere hope that whether you’ve chosen to give care or you’ve simply found yourself in a position within which you cannot escape, you’ll discover within this site and many related site addresses, indications of ‘helps’.

Remain cognizant of a very important point that we tend to forget when we get caught up in the 24/7 demands of care giving. You must make a part of your day to day experience… research. You must endeavor to learn. Particularly with the Internet, you have a vast number of resources available through which you can make your loved one’s life better and your life… easier.

One very important aspect not only to quickly learn, but to quickly set in place. While a variety of ‘helps’ will be covered in other categories and pages on this site, I encourage you to quickly strive to better understand and employ… respite opportunities …which are available to you. And if not already available… make them happen on a regular basis. Hopefully, some degree of respite is available to both you and your loved one vis-a-vis your extended family. Unfortunately though, that is often not the case. You may well be ‘stuck’. Nevertheless, you should enthusiastically endeavor to quickly establish as well as continually discover what other respite avenues are available. Your ability to provide proper care, particularly for an extended period of time, surely lessens when you are unable to apprehend regular respite. When you are regularly refreshed though, both you and your loved one will be the better for it. Far better.

 

Next, you may wish to view…

 

Anger

 

 

Afterward, you may wish to view…

 

‘You WILL Need Help With An Alzheimer’s Victim‘